Enjoyed your post a lot Paul.
We have discussed some of these issues in our ‘One Garden’ group. If the drop is absorbed by the ocean is that annihilation? In this world at least we live in, and learn through, dualities. The drop becomes individuated after the experience of no-self – and we endlessly pass back and forth between self and no-self. Self is good, at the very least it prevents u from bumping into the furniture. The no-self, or ‘presence’ in Eckhart Tolle terms, is there always – even when doing the laundry like a drone or bass line in music. Ecstasy lies through the laundry-doing. The really big question is, ‘What kind of individuality might we have if reasonably awakened in the after-life? Rather than annihilation no-self might better be thought of as the achievement of being and doing and thinking out of the higher self rather than the lower self?
Ultimately we are only united in silence!
All good wishes